Me + Technology = Not so much....

Is it just me or is this blog getting a bit too serious? Time to lighten things up....

I am going to confess something (I do that a lot on here). But it shouldn't come as too much of a surprise. The fact is I'm not so good at technology type things. You know computers, gadgets, etc. Using them doesn't come naturally, I don't have the patience to learn it, and I'm not all that interested in it. It's usually not that big of a deal for me. I know the basics of things like using common software, research on the internet, and how to keep my stuff working... some what.

One moment that I was really proud of was when I figured out how to implement the tags on this blog! I wanted to do it since the moment I started this thing about a year and a half ago. I finally figured it out about a month ago. Of course it turns out you just had to find the right button to push, so I realize I shouldn't celebrate too much.

I've also had some not-so-proud moments. For example my last computer's hard drive crashed last year. I lost everything. Granted my computer had been through a lot. All of college, and a pretty vicious virus. But in the end I still believe I caused the crash. You see, a week or so before it crashed I had been cleaning the files on my computer, deleting the ones I didn't need anymore. Well, there was this odd looking file in one of my folders. I didn't know what it was, I thought it was some software thing I never used or something, so I deleted it. I'm pretty sure that was a bad thing to do. But who knows maybe that was just a coincidence. Either way, I don't delete random files from my computer anymore.

All that speaks to my actual ability. But what about my interest? I think this will give you a good picture...

Around Thanksgiving I got an iTouch (my iPod's battery was dead). I didn't get any apps for it until February. As in 3 full months. Even then I only got 3 in a two week period (all of which were free and to this day are the only 3 I have). The second one I got was Solitaire. The third one I got was the LDS Gospel Library. So what was the first one you ask? Despicable Me iMoo. If you don't have it, get it! Only the hardest of hearts won't get a smile out of this. For those of you who don't have an app type device check out the video below. The iMoo app is basically just a video of the first half of this trailer.

Like I said, just trying to lighten things up. I play my iMoo when I need a happy moment in my day. :)

In the end I don't think it's a problem that I'm not a techy or a computer wiz. Inevitably someone around me can always help me and I can get around pretty well myself. I just have to watch which buttons I push. But at least this might explain to my few readers why this blog is so plain and basic. Even if I wanted a fun background or gadget or something (which I don't) I wouldn't know how to find/get/implement it.

Of course I don't mind, if you don't mind.

Redo

How many times in your life have you said something like this... "If only I could go back and do it again knowing what I know now." I've said it, you've said it, but how many times do any of us actually get to do it. From my knowledge not many.

However I like to think I'm an exception to that. Let me explain... I was able to move off and make my own life during my college years. I was young, naive, and I made a lot of mistakes, as we all do. Looking back I don't have many regrets. I was able to learn from all my mistakes, even though they were painful. I grew from the experiences I had and they shaped me as a person. I learned a lot about myself, mostly about what I don't want to do, or be.

There are two points which I regret though. First, I was so busy pushing through school and getting it done that I feel I missed it. While I did do some exploration and I did overall enjoy my college years I feel like I didn't take the time to truly live them. You know, explore, have fun, take random classes just because you can. By the time I graduated I was left feeling like I missed it all. It just kind of passed me by without me realizing it. In the end I didn't really feel like I accomplished anything great.

The second point is more of a life lesson. There were many times during my college years that I allowed the influence and peer-pressure of other people to change me. I found myself giving up things that meant a lot to me. I let my high standards slack a bit. I didn't stand up for myself. No one around me would have noticed the changes, they were so small. But those small changes had a great impact on me personally. It wasn't other people's fault. They had no idea the kind of influence they were having on me. I wasn't strong enough or confident enough in myself to stand firm. I wanted to be liked and accepted. I wanted to have friends and fit in. And so I conformed. This caused me a lot of pain and sorrow in my life because I wasn't being true to who I was. In the middle of college I realized this and made a few changes. I wasn't perfect but I was better. I still struggled with it though all the way until the end though.

So that brings me back to me redo. After college I came home, was really sick, blah, blah, blah, you know the story. Now that I am looking to venture out into the world again it's almost like I am doing it again, only now I know better. The question is what do I do with my redo? How do I use it so that I don't waste this gift?

I have been applying for jobs and graduate programs in the field that I have been working towards for years. A few weeks ago I even interviewed for a few jobs. While I have been given opportunities to move forward in this area I haven't taken them. They haven't seemed right. To be honest it seems like every time I get close to doing something in this area a wall comes up. It's frustrating. It makes me question if I am headed in the right direction. After my job interviews a few weeks ago didn't turn out the way I expected I found myself at another turning point. What do I do now? Do I just get a random job, because that seems like the productive thing to do? Do I push forward with the graduate program even though it doesn't feel like the right thing to do right now? I'll admit, I got a bit down. I was confused, frustrated, and felt trapped.

And then I realized I was doing it again. I was doing exactly what I had done in college. I was trying to push through with what seemed like the most logical plan and in doing so I was missing my opportunity to fully use my redo. Instead of being frustrated about my circumstances, maybe I should look at it as a blessing. I have the opportunity to explore. To decide if I still really want to do what I have been planning on doing this whole time, or it I want to do something completely different. Something that is true to who I am and who I want to become. Who says I need to get a job right now or start graduate school? Maybe I just need to take an exploration vacation! I know some people will say, "she's been home for two years doing nothing, and she wants to take time for herself?" But let's be honest being home sick for two years isn't exactly what I wanted to be doing, so yes, maybe I do need to take time for myself to do things I enjoy doing and to learn more about myself and what I want my life to be.

I don't know exactly what my redo will look like, or where I'll end up. I do know that I am going to be true to myself. I am not going to let others change me or push me into anything. I am going to be confident in who I am and love myself. I am going to find people to be friends with who accept that. I am going to find a path (job, school) that fits me, that makes me happy, and that I enjoy doing. I might end up right where I started, but at least this time I won't regret missing the opportunity.

This week I am going to learn about Organic Farming. Saturday I am taking an all-day class at a local farm to learn about organic farming and gardening practices. Next week I am going to volunteer at an Organic Farm and see what the work is actually like. I am excited about it! I am excited to learn more about something I have been interested in.

Welcome to my redo. Welcome to the new, empowered me!!


 

Blogosphere Etiquette

Since there's not a rule book out there on this topic I am asking for your feedback. I guess I should set up the situation before I ask my question....

First let me say that I know that some people mean for their blogs to be read by the whole world. Mine is one of those, which is why I try to keep the personal information on my blog limited. I also know some people who have truly personal blogs that they mean for everyone to read (why they invite the world to have a seat in their living room I'll never know. I try to be a little more judicious with what I put out there than some people.) I also know that some people just have personal blogs that they keep public so that their friends and families can come and go as they please, but they don't necessarily intend for the world to be viewing.

I sometimes "blog hop". You know, I look at one friend's blog then off to the side, or in the comments I see the name of another friend so I check out their blog, and so on and so on. Well, here's where things get sticky. I always end up finding someone's blog whom I know of, but I know they probably don't know, or care about, or remember me. And yet sometimes I occasionally go back and check their blogs again. (Come on, I know some of you out there do this too. I can't be the only one!)

Now I know I do this innocently, but it does beg the question, is this appropriate? I mean well. I'm interested in their lives and happy to see their accomplishments and blessings in their lives. But in the end is this really just voyeurism?

I decided for me that I needed to make my judgments based on whether I would be happy to hear they are reading my blog and if I thought they would mind if I was reading their blog. Making my decision based on that, some blogs I look at regularly and some I don't go back to.

But what are your opinions? What do you think about blogosphere voyeurism?

(I know many people read this blog. Don't feel shy about giving your opinion. Remember, I'm okay with anyone and everyone reading my blog and I would love the variety of opinions.)