Fin

I haven't written in a while. This blog has not turned out to be what I wanted it to be. I feel like it too easily becomes a place for me to vent my frustrations. Which is not really how I see things or who I am. I wanted this to be a positive and fun thing. To make it what I really wanted it to be would take too much time and energy, which I choose to devote to other things. So, I am no longer going to post.

My blogging life was short, and that's okay. I am doing great and looking forward to a long and healthy life!!

Feeding Pumba

So I have a bunch of new recipes to post, that are absolutely amazing, and pictures to go with them. Unfortunately, my computer decided to die a few weeks ago. Luckily my dad was able to get everything off of my computer and rebuild it. However, this is not the first time this has happened so I have decided to get a new computer. Until I do get a new computer I do not want to put any pictures or anything on my old one, just in case. So the recipes and pictures will have to wait a bit, but they will come eventually. Now I just have to find a computer I like. Wish me luck.

Update

I went to the doctor this week. Good news!! The celiac panel blood test that the doctor redid came back negative for celiac disease. That does not mean that I don't have it anymore; it just means that I am no longer receiving damage to my small intestine, because I am no longer eating gluten. In the big picture it means that I can start healing now; almost 6 months later. I will say that I realize I am so blessed and I am grateful for that. In all reality we did not expect me to be this well yet. However, I must admit that I sometimes loose my patience. I'm trying to do everything I can and I sometimes get frustrated that it is such a slow process to heal. But there is even a blessing in that. Every time I feel that I am about to loose my patience completely I feel myself strengthened with a renewed sense of importance for what I am doing and how I am spending my time right now. When I look at everything I have been through the past few months I cannot help but be grateful and in complete awe at the blessings, strength, guidance, and comfort I have received from my Father in Heaven. I honestly can't think negatively about my situation. I have been able to become closer with my family and my Father in Heaven. I have grown personally; becoming more confident in myself and more sure of who I am and what I want my life to be. I am truly happy right now and I know that the Lord will continue to bless my life and guide me to the opportunities that will be of the most value to me.

Cravings and Endless Hunger

For the past year I have had the worst eating habits. I would crave sweets and carbohydrates to no end. Plus... I was ALWAYS hungy. I not just talking about the 'hey I want a bite of that' hunger, I am talking my stomach was growling hunger. At first I decided I just had a bad relationship with food. So I tried to be careful about what I ate and how much I ate. My will power would only ever last a few days. The cravings and hunger would get to me and I would start to constantly eat again. I didn't know what was wrong with me or what to do about it. I felt like I had no control over myself. There was just something instinctive inside me the knew it had to keep eating. It got to the point where some nights I would be completely full and yet I would still have this internal need to keep eating, even though I didn't want to. In all honesty it really scared me.
Well, it makes much more sense now. Because of the damage in my intestines I wasn't absorbing any of the nutrients from the food I was eating. So in reality my body was starving even though I was eating. That explains the constant hunger and the need to keep eating. Also, because I was so fatigued (which I'll write about later), and again not absorbing anything, my body was craving quick energy, which would explain the cravings for sweets and carbohydrates. Understanding this has helped me handle the cravings and hunger. Knowing why I am feeling the way I am feeling has helped me be able to manage what I eat and how much I eat, to give my body what it needs and not necessarily what it wants. Over the past few months the cravings and hunger have subsided a lot. Now that my body is absorbing some nutrients it's not on constant alert for food. A more reasonable diet is coming slowly, although I still think I eat more than I should. Over time I think I will be fine. It's a relief to know that I can manage my relationship with food and that I don't have some sort of psychological disorder.

Only me...

For those of you who truly know me, you know I can be quite the ditz. Well a few weeks ago I had a 'moment'. I was getting ready for bed and decided that I was going to put lotion on. Now, I usually put on lotion after I shower but decided to switch things up that day and put it on at night. I also decided that I was going to use a lotion I hadn't used in a while. So, I put the lotion on, got dressed and went downstairs to brush my teeth. As I was flossing I realized that I still had lotion on my hands. I just shook my head at myself. Seriously, who puts on lotion before they floss their teeth. Don't you learn not to do that by the time you're 6!?! Oh well, the worst that happens is that it tastes bad right? Then I stopped... some lotions have gluten but it's not a big deal because you don't ingest it. Only, being the immensely intelligent person I am, I stuck my hands in my mouth right after I put it on, thus ingesting it. Well, still not a big deal, because most lotions don't have gluten, only a few. So, I just finished flossing and brushing my teeth. When I went back to my bedroom I decided to check my lotion bottles. The lotion I usually use was fine, completely gluten-free. Then I checked the lotion that I had used that night, you know the one I hadn't used in a while. Well, just my luck, one of the last ingredients was wheat-starch. So, just a recap... not only did I get a bad taste in my mouth but I also gave myself a gluten reaction (it came full force the next day). It's just another one of those things that makes me laugh at myself and shake my head saying, "only me, only me."

Feeding Pumba

Quinoa (pronounced 'KEEN-wa') is one of the new things I have tried, and love. It is actually a seed, though it is used like a grain. It is the only grain-like thing that has all the amino acids needed to build a protein, so it is very nutritionally sound. There are limitless ways to use quinoa, and it has become one of the staples of my diet (right up there with rice). I have tried many recipes using quinoa and have liked all of them. Here is one of my favorites. Black Bean Mango Quinoa Salad

1 red pepper, seeded and diced small

3 green onions, chopped (about 1/2 cup)

1 mango, peeled and chopped

1/4 tsp salt

1 can (15oz) black beans, drained and rinsed

2 tbsp olive oil

2 tbsp red wine vinegar

2 cups quinoa, cooked and chilled

Combine all ingredients in a bowl and chill. Serve cold. I love this dish with warm crab or fish. It is absolutely delicious!!!

Gluten Free Review

You know how when you go to the grocery store hungry you come home with some crazy stuff? I really can't do that with the regular grocery store anymore, which is probably a good thing. However, there is still Whole Foods. I may have gone to Whole Foods hungry the other day. Things were just jumping into my basket, begging to come home with me. One thing in particular was very insistent on coming home with me. I must admit it seemed like the perfect thing. It was gluten free, I am gluten free. It was dairy free, I am dairy free. It had spinach, I love spinach. It was pizza and I have been craving pizza since the day I started this all consuming diet!!! And to top it all off, it was Amy's (and though I have been trying not to put my name on this blog, the coincidence was too great to pass it by. Yes, my name is Amy.) I was so excited to come home and try Amy's Gluten Free, Dairy Free Spinach Pizza!! It was meant to be, right?

I am not going to lie, I was a bit disappointed (although I should know better by now). It was edible, though. I may even get it again when I really want pizza. But it was not as perfect as it seemed to be in the store. So overall, I wouldn't recommend it, but it may take the edge off of some cravings.